7th November 2007

Designate a Driver OR…

Ever have the problem of choosing the designated driver for the night? Deciding with the flip of a coin, Rock Paper Scissor, Odds/Evens, or the numerous other ways to choose one person’s misery for the night… Well here’s an alternative for ya…

Recently, a routine police patrol was parked outside a local neighborhood bar in Wisconsin. Late in the evening, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly watching.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his own car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally, he started his car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles.

At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street. The police officer having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man consumed alcohol at all.

Dumbfounded, the office said “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.”

“I doubt it,” said the man. “Tonight I’m the designated decoy.”

At least the sober one gets a laugh out of it. So designate your decoy today!

posted in Jokes | 0 Comments

7th November 2007

Snoozing Burglar? Or Desperate Drunken Ex-BF?

You be the judge…

Joshua J. Smith of Akron was charged of burglary after he entered his ex-girlfriend’s home, hid in a closet and… fell asleep!!!

Whether it was the alcoholic odor or stench of beer farts… His ex-girlfriend was lured by a strange odor over to the closet the following morning, only to find Smith passed out inside.

Startled and confused he awoke and fled the scene leaving his shoes behind… Josh, if you’re looking for your shoes, please check the nearest police station… Oh and stay for a few questions as well, I’m sure they have a few for ya!

For Full Story, Click Here

For all you jealous ex’s out there, think twice before you drink and stalk!

posted in Drunken Stories | 0 Comments

The Bartender