6th August 2009

Party School Update – 2009 Edition

High School class of 2010 take note of this year’s Party school ranking as per Princeton Review : 

1. Penn State University, State College, Pa.

And not that the rest of this list even matters anymore, but here you go:

2. University of Florida, Gainesville, Fla.
3. University of Mississippi, Oxford, Miss.
4. University of Georgia, Athens, Ga.
5. Ohio University, Athens, Ohio
6. West Virginia University, Morgantown, W.Va.
7. University of Texas, Austin, Texas
8. University of Wisconsin, Madison, Wis.
9. Florida State University, Tallahassee, Fla.
10. University of California-Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara, Calif.

“On behalf of the whole student body and alums around the world I graciously accept this honor. First off I’d like to thank Jesus Christ and God cause without them (Him? Are “they” the same? I digress, doesn’t matter really) none of this is possible. Secondly I’d like to thank Natty Lite, Beast, and of course when we felt saucy we upped our game and therefore we have to thank the complete line of fine Miller and Bud products. I’d be negligent if I didn’t give a shout out to my boy Smirnoff for keeping me warm during football games and for helping hoards of students grind up on each other and not consider it inappropriate. This wasn’t easy to beat out warm weather schools (suck it every school in Florida and Cali) that can party year round in temperatures above -5 degrees and without a coat of ice on the ground from October to April which makes it VERY hard to not fall down and bust your head while intoxicated. But when we thought we couldn’t do it, when we heard rumors that Florida was making a strong push late in the semester, we dug deep and with the inspiration of our new Democratic president (after 8 years of hardship) we took up his cause with a rousing “Yes We Can” and came out number 1! If you are reading this and didn’t go to PSU and need a support group, we meet every Saturday at Sidebar during football season, we always welcome those that need guidance on how to throw down. Well, I’m sorry, I have to go, I’m starting to tear up. We Are…”

Well put by my buddy Justin after our prestigious school was finally given the credit it deserved!

To which I must give a resounding “PENN STATE”!

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The Bartender
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