28th March 2008

I WISH THIS GUY EXISTED

posted in Jokes |

So I get this e-mail today with the story below… However according to Snopes (Click for full story) the story is not entirely true, but in fact just a legend!

I still wanted to post however as I truly do hope a guy like this exists somewhere!

SizzUp Presents – “A Master Card Wedding”

You got to love this guy… This is a true story about a recent Wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their
wedding.

mwed.jpgThey look happy right?

He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8×10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests’ reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and Said, ‘F—you!’ Then he turned to his bride and said, ‘F— you!’ Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said,’I’m outta here.’ He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the Charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge–making the bride’s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the Bride’s’ and best man’s reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard ‘priceless’ commercial out of this? Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000. Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000. Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui: $8,500. The look on everyone’s face when they see the 8×10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless. There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s MASTERCARD!

A Mastercard Wedding ‘Life isn’t like a bowl Of cherries or peaches, it’s more like a jar of Jalapenos–what you Do today, might burn your ass tomorrow……’

This entry was posted on Friday, March 28th, 2008 at 9:54 am and is filed under Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

There are currently 41 responses to “I WISH THIS GUY EXISTED”

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  1. 1 On March 28th, 2008, mik said:

    A ha ha ha that is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BRILLIANT! I want to BE that guy! or meet him at least.

  2. 2 On March 28th, 2008, snopes.com said:

    http://www.snopes.com/weddings/embarrass/bothered.asp

  3. 3 On March 28th, 2008, j said:

    So what’s the point of propogating some internet bullshit you admit at the top is a lie? Are you a loopey 74 year old like my uncle Harry who just can’t resist forwarding me every child-with-cancer, Nigerian prince, and heart-warming right wing homily he comes across?

  4. 4 On March 28th, 2008, M said:

    I dont want to be that guy! do you really want to your newlywed and your bestman?

  5. 5 On March 28th, 2008, jesus said:

    I don’t know mik, being that guy might suck. Falling in love and then realizing your wife-to-be is boning your best friend?

  6. 6 On March 29th, 2008, SlipInSanity said:

    Hilarious! A better come back could not have been possible. Amazing, and kudos to the groom.

  7. 7 On March 29th, 2008, sara diaz said:

    As a former Public Information Director for Clemson University I can tell you that this hoax has been going around for a long time and it’s totally untrue.
    Continuing to perpetuate falsehoods, especially if you know that it is false is unethical at best.

  8. 8 On March 29th, 2008, Nick said:

    God, I wish I was that guy. legendary

  9. 9 On March 29th, 2008, R said:

    Ok, so the bride is a slut- big deal, so was my ex-. Did she have the stones to move the best man in BEFORE the wedding?
    But on that note; anyone got her number? lol
    signed,
    I’ll be your best man, heheh 😉

  10. 10 On March 29th, 2008, David said:

    I absolutely hate you.

  11. 11 On March 29th, 2008, Becky said:

    Hm, telling a humorous story even though you know and admit it’s not true… sounds like a joke to me! Chill out guys, it’s a joke, it’s not “unethical”.
    Hilarious story, btw.

  12. 12 On March 29th, 2008, admin said:

    Why Thank you Becky… David – Those are some harsh words don’t you think?

  13. 13 On March 30th, 2008, James III said:

    Lordy lord, this is so old. I heard this three years ago. My wife was telling me almost the same story. I told her then it didn’t sound true but she swore, “some of her friends were at the wedding. Upon close investigation, noone was at the wedding. It was always “a friend of a friend of a friend”.
    But the story has some value, I think. It gives us pause to reflect if a situation arises, (god forbid), where we might possibly react in a similar way.

  14. 14 On March 30th, 2008, FailedNinja said:

    Joke or not that is classic!
    Someone will do that now, that is if there bride-to-be is doing the best man…and they can get someone to catch them doing it and all.
    Sounds like great fun ^_^

  15. 15 On March 31st, 2008, Ted said:

    Ah how far we’ve come…

    From crappy email forwards, to crappy stumbles.

  16. 16 On March 31st, 2008, Diana said:

    True or not this is BRILLIANT!!! She got EXACTLY what she deserved!! She’s gonna have to move FAR AWAY and hope to meet someone who doesn’t own a computer because moving won’t do her any good if her future partner sees this!! HA HA HA

  17. 17 On April 1st, 2008, RELAX ASSHOLES said:

    It is clearly stated that this is not true, so just enjoy the story and have a laugh. Quit being so anal.

  18. 18 On April 4th, 2008, RateMyLeftArm.com said:

    I think I have a picture of the happy couple on my site somewhere…

  19. 19 On April 7th, 2008, Lmao said:

    Priceless, and J, calm down, the person enjoyed the story and wanted to share it with others.

  20. 20 On April 8th, 2008, Ash said:

    Greatest thing ever.

  21. 21 On April 14th, 2008, H P said:

    At least it’s a good story.

  22. 22 On April 18th, 2008, John said:

    “Knock Knock”
    “Who’s there?”
    “Itzo”
    “I don’t believe you. Snopes says people have been knocking on doors for years who claim to be legitimate visitors with unlikely names but in fact are merely the set-up to some sort of phonetic pun that varies with each telling”
    “Itzonly a joke, get the fuck over yourself!”

  23. 23 On April 19th, 2008, sil-chan said:

    Interesting. Put “joke” at the top of the page, and everyone goes “oh that was funny.”

    Put “this was an e-mail I investigated, found out was false, but still thought was funny” and people hate you and call you unethical.

    If you are Snopes, however, you can reprint the email verbatim, do some research, declare it false, and be called a hero and a wonderful resource.

    I wonder sometimes if there is a logic black hole near Earth lately sucking the rationality of people in this world off to be crushed under the gravitational weight of idiocy and hypocrisy.

    Funny story, by the way. I appreciate you reproducing it as I have not read it before. I also appreciate that you had the ethical behavior to research it before hand and inform the readers that it wasn’t a true story.

  24. 24 On April 20th, 2008, simon wegel said:

    This dude gots rhinocerously sized titanium coated MTV-pimped testicles.He’s the man.
    Someone hire him as a professional pokerplayer?

  25. 25 On April 20th, 2008, Sam said:

    Awesome story, even if its not true.

    Sil-chan:
    Yeah actually, there is. Its called the internet.

  26. 26 On April 23rd, 2008, Annon said:

    I dont care if this is a lie/untrue, if this happens to me then im gunna try deal with it the same way.

    might as well go out with a bang

  27. 27 On April 26th, 2008, Aceoangels said:

    dude this guy is a genious – at least he can feel better afterwards then just the regular weeks and months of agony

  28. 28 On April 30th, 2008, Jim Smith said:

    Isn’t it amazing how people will lie to lend credibility to a story that cannot be attempted to be believed? It even says up front that this is not true, yet some on here want to believe it anyway. I guess that explains politics AND religion. People will believe claim to anything if it makes them feel good.

  29. 29 On May 1st, 2008, WW said:

    That is epic. There is nothing he could have done better to make the bride feel like shit. This groom is my idol.

  30. 30 On May 8th, 2008, as said:

    Absolutely amazing. This is totally kick ass!

  31. 31 On May 15th, 2008, fateOWNZyou said:

    HAHAHA shit, thats so AWESOME. thats the absolute best revenge story I’ve ever heard. hes the fucking MAN

  32. 32 On May 22nd, 2008, Debbie said:

    Oh man, if only that were true what he did. The sad thing is, there are probably untold numbers of couples where either the bride and/or groom cheats before they are even married.

  33. 33 On June 11th, 2008, chantix said:

    that would def work as a mastercard commercial during like the superbowl!

  34. 34 On June 12th, 2008, junkbuster said:

    This story sucks-if only because without the disclaimer that it’s bogus, it would just be a lame story! Give an asshole a venue-and a free one at that, and they think their pearls of wisdom really are smart, instead of the insipid tripe that they are! If you want a proof, imagine that you are sitting around with a group of friends, instead of an anonymous message board, and you tell this story-right-you’d be an asshole! Remember, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should-the only thing missing are the douchebags commenting “LOL” and “awesome” so they can get a boner when they see their lame comments on the “web”!

  35. 35 On June 17th, 2008, Social Networking said:

    getting married is the worst idea anyone could ever have and the worst anybody could ever do. Just leads to unhappiness in a generally unhappy life.

  36. 36 On July 26th, 2008, thegnu said:

    I think it’s fine posting this story, but you might want to consider removing the photo. Because some people have a hard time with reading comprehension.

  37. 37 On October 31st, 2008, jose said:

    we can arrange a wedding i can fuck ur girl u will be legend . what do u think ?

    Nick said:

    ” God, I wish I was that guy. legendary”

  38. 38 On June 22nd, 2009, Linda Smith said:

    I think the guy is a low life for doing this. How many men fuck everything in sight before they get married and think they are not married so they are innocent. This is a double standard and the guests will interpret this low-life stunt as such.

  39. 39 On June 23rd, 2009, Immortaly007 said:

    That guy strangely reminds me of gordon freeman 😛 But it’s still pretty awsum

  40. 40 On June 24th, 2009, Jack said:

    Absolute legend. No doubt.

  41. 41 On December 26th, 2010, Seriously? said:

    Stumbled. Read it. Loved it. Found the most assbackwards troll comment ever from Linda.

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